Saturday, December 25, 2004
merry christmas.
Sunday, December 19, 2004
i'll be away on camp from tmr till wed.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
the grass on the other side might be greener,
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
i guess it all started with him and her.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
888888iloveyou88888.iloveyou
and im sick from my stupid camp.
more of a chalet actually.
anyways.
thanks for all the christmas cards. haha. =)
esp the one from my babyy.
its very cute. haha.
a lot of stuff written all over the place.
okay its late goonight.
etched at 2:02 AM
which means i wont be online.
so dont be freaked if you dont see me on.
especially since im usually always online.
do dont think i died, okay?
yes okay.
goonight.
etched at 10:44 PM
but its still just as difficult to cut.
to love and to have lost
is better than to have never loved at all.
love is born of faith,
lives on hope,
and dies of charity.
to completely get over a person,
you must be immuned to the objects associated with the person.
love will fly if held too lightly.
love will die if held too tightly.
lightly or tightly,
how will i know if i'm still keeping you or i'm letting go...
to love and to be loved is like feeling the sun from both sides;
it never happens.
all that exists is hatred;
love is a fairytale.
oh innocent little victim of cupid,
do well to listen to this terse little verse:
to let a fool kiss you is stupid,
but to let a kiss fool you is even worse..
i'll carve your name on the bullet.
so everyone will know,
you're the last thing
that has gone through my head.
you taught me how to love,
you taught me how to live,
you taught me how to laugh.
but you didnt teach me how to forget you.
dont let me walk alone, i want to walk by your side.
dont let me talk to someone else, its you i want to talk with.
dont let me fall for someone else,
its you i fell in love with.
one night, a star said to me,
"if she makes you sad,
why dont you leave her?"
so i looked back at the star and said,
"star, would you ever leave ur sky?"
the spaces between your fingers,
are created for another person to fill in.
when will i find the person who will hold on to my hand?
once i felt a stabbing pain in my chest,
so i asked God what was wrong.
he said try taking a rest,
i'll sing you a song.
it didnt work.
then he put his hand over my lil heart,
and said its been scarred.
i looked at him in the eye,
then he gave a sigh.
forgive, forget,
and dont regret..
if you cant get somebody out of ur head,
it just means that person's meant to be there.
love sometimes can be magic,
but at times magic can be an illusion.
thats why some pple never take the risk
and they never believe in magic.
relationships are just like broken glass.
sometimes its just better to leave them broken
than try to hurt urself putting it back together.
giving up doesnt always mean youre weak.
sometimes it just means youre strong enuff to let go.
now dont cry when the sun is gone.
your tears wont let you see the stars.
theres smth beautiful about all scars of any nature.
a scar means that the hurt is over,
the wound is closed and healed,
and done with.
dont cry because its over;
smile because it happened.
i was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments,
glue them together again and tell myself,
that the mended whole was as good as new.
what is broken is broken
and i'd remember it
as it was the best than mend it,
and see the broken places as long as i live.
a broken heart
is just purely a heart that has felt love
and its not getting weaker.
its just getting stronger in preperation for better fantasies to come.
watching you walk out of my life
hasnt made me bitter or cynical about love,
but rather shown me,
that if i wanted so badly to be with the wrong person,
how beautiful it would be when the right one comes along.
why am i so afraid to lose you,
when you're not even mine?
etched at 1:52 AM
i dunno why but i had to make myself heard.
so it became the three of us.
studied by that window
i remember so clearly.
made my marvelous entrance
with the stupid calculator thingy. lol.
then somehow she came along.
she was her friend.
so i thought,
more brains would make it all simpler
wouldnt it.?
esp since it was supposed to be all abt this study group.
she wanted to clear up some unclear stuff.
and i told myself it wouldnt be too much of problem, would it?
then it became the four of us.
meeting up once a week
clarifying any doubts we had.
doing work together
progressing together.
and then there was the exam period
oh i wouldnt forget.
i dare say it was one of the best parts of the year.
talked to her every single night.
for three weeks.
i'd sleep early and wait for her to call and wake me up.
and then she'd go off to bed.
maybe that was when i began to feel for her.
then there was the time when she didnt feel too good.
and i was there to talk to her on the phone.
asked what it was all about.
and she said it was about sw.
so i told her, why are you on the verge of tears
and her response,
"maybe its because theres a lucky girl out there getting a really sweet guy."
and then it was exactly how mom explained it to be.
with such a study group
it could develop into something more..
and it wasnt the time to get involved in anything.
but why. why didnt i listen.
got myself involved.
and then we got closer.
maybe i thought we were.
things were looking so bright
the start of a new beginning.
but i knew it wasnt gonna last.
it was going all too good.
i knew something would go wrong.
and then i had to blow up on her.
ruined it all.
was hoping i could save it,
but i guess it was all over when she said,
"dont take anything i do too seriously."
and then i could confirm it.
it was all nothing.
before that.
it didnt mean anything.
well, theres nothing i can do now, can i.
since she likes him.
and she told me.
"she likes him. she's not fickle. she never was."
"she didnt like him recently. she always did. she never stopped liking him."
and then my world crumbled.
all these pieces, theyre hard to pick up.
i guess i can say i was angry
i guess i can say i was depressed.
why am i so sad?
all i can say is,
maybe its because some guy out there is really lucky getting a girl like her.
but thank god i know theyre pple out there who care.
she. fellow pessimist. haha. is always cheering me up. thanks. =)
and he. haha. we shall dota all our time awayy. thanks, too.
i told you two everything.
how i felt.
and im glad you two were there to listen to me.
thankies.
ive learnt to let go now,
but sometimes i still get pictures of the past.
i see that folder in my handphone
with all her messages in it.
i hear those songs, and they remind me of her.
that 7-eleven, that mrt station.
that library, that road.
that 32, that 92
got me thinking about you.
that cinema, that movie.
it was the four of us,
with them two.
that moment where i looked you in the eye,
and you looked back at me,
when our faces were so close.
the times we had.
the memories we enjoyed.
well what can i do now.
i've got everyone telling me to get over it.
yes im trying,
and yes i think ive more or less done it.
thankew all so much for helping.
for tolerating.
cuz i know im been losing my temper exceptionally easy.
thanks.
and i thank her for giving me these memories.
cuz i know i wouldnt experience this again in the near future.
i must say she is a treasure thats hard to come by,
maybe thats why find it so hard to let her walk by.
cuz shes walked into my life
and left deep footprints in it.
im happy to know that we're still friends,
still on talking terms.
that it didnt all break.
and that we're still something better than we started off.
i cant help but say thanks again.
cuz i had the time of my life,
during those past few months i spent with you.
etched at 2:55 AM
8888iloveyouilove8youiloveyoui
8loveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyou
iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouil
iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouil
88iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouilovey
8888ouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyo
8888888uiloveyouiloveyouil
888888888.oveyouiloveyo
888888888888.iloveyou
88888888888888.ilove
8888888888888888u
boredom does stuff like this.
etched at 5:50 PM